Please God, help me to understand and b a better person. I feel as though, I am being punished for all my sins here on earth. It's been 1 struggle after another, for the past 2 yrs. My mother and father raised me to have good morals and respect. Somewhere during my adult life...I feel that I have done something terribly wrong 2 make my life turn out 2 b such a lonely and sad person. As soon as I start working on one problem..bam...I"m back in my rut of sadness and I jus give up. At many times, I feel( like I jus don't have the strength to endure any more.) I used to b a strong person and not many things got in my way in which I could not handle. I survied a very abuse 12 yr marriage, took my 2 children and ran. My children an I were treated badly by my ex. physically, verbably. I kno it's in the past, the physical scars r gone, but the other forms of his abuse(are very hard to get ovr.) I am havin a very hard time with my nerves at this time and getting bck out in public. I don't even care if I brush my hair. I used to not b like this: No-one evr calls, unless it's some collection agency. Economic and hard times have taken a toll on some of my family an me. I kno I am not the only one. Being sick and anti-social is a terrible feeling. I feel that I cannot trust anyone anymore. Living in fear is horrible. it will take me awhile to get to feeling better and start my daily walks again. It happens 2 me a lot. I don't need to put myself down...and drift to far off the shore....it's jus too hard 4 me to swim bck. What is happening to our country? Sometimes ppl can b so rude. Maybe I deserve it. Please Lord help ...so I can help others an my family. Aprilrain
